After years of continually being told to lift her soft palate, Linda Greene no longer has one.  While practicing last week in her home city of Halifax, the soprano’s soft palate ascended so high it completely left her body.  Sources say it was last seen in the magical Land...

A recent study conducted by the prestigious Institute of Business Sciences has proven that nearly all audition results, at least in part, are influenced by factors beyond a musician’s control. However, an intriguing twist reveals the phenomenon auditionees had long suspected: when it comes to your own audition, the...

Leading global toy manufacturer Mattel has set the stage on fire with the latest addition to their iconic Barbie franchise: “Perfect Pitch Barbie”. The Perfect Pitch Barbie package embodies independence with the empowering quote: “I don’t need my note!” Adorned in a bedazzled gold gown and sporting a treble...

On a recent flight out of Toronto Pearson Airport, a hand-crafted maple cello was sorely disappointed to find himself unable to order alcohol en route to Vancouver. “I realize that I was produced and assembled 17 years ago, I get that,” acknowledged the Andreas Eastman VC 305 cello, who...

Earlier today, 32-year-old Montréal composer Olivier Mathieu announced his New Year’s resolution to write a perfect cadence in 2023. “People often say that perfection is unattainable,” said Mathieu, “and that’s where they’re wrong. Have I ever written something perfect? No. But is it possible? Of course! My cadence can...

In a recent hard-won life milestone, Ottawa clarinetist Kaitlyn Cooper has finally completed 1000 hours of strongly considering practicing her instrument. “I started my undergrad music degree here at uOttawa in September of 2019,” said Cooper, “and since then, I’ve spent a total of 1000 hours thinking about practicing....

World-renowned German tenor Jonas Kaufmann truly hits the high note in his cover of Mariah Carey’s beloved aria, “All I Want for Christmas”, from his recently released album, “It’s Christmas!” Kaufmann’s website describes the album as “a very personal selection of 40 Christmas songs.” “The fact that he took...

There has been much debate over the appropriateness of using “the a-word” to describe collaborating piano-players in the world of classical music, with most pianists rejecting the term. But one prairie ivory-tickler is making quite clear that she is not most pianists. “Yes, I’m completely fine with my collaborators...

Following a remote live audition earlier this week for University of Manitoba student chamber ensembles, flautist Mariah Morrison reportedly apologized to the panel immediately for the poor-quality performance her laptop captured, which they heard via the video-conferencing platform Zoom – despite the fact that this is what her playing...

Edmonton soprano Alexis Taves, 26, was found dead in a University of Alberta copy room this morning after an attempt to double-side and hole-punch the sheet music she planned to give to her pianist later that day. Taves, who returned in spectre form to comment, said she was taken...

After thoroughly applying rosin to his bow, a string player at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver is shocked by the result he received. “My playing has sounded shitty for awhile now, so I figured rosin must be the missing piece of the puzzle,” said student violinist Dylan...

Toronto-based cellist Mason Price has finally saved up enough exposure to place a down payment on a house. “I’ve been out of school and performing in exchange for exposure for five years now,” said Price, who holds a Bachelor’s from the University of Toronto, Master’s from the Paris Conservatory,...

British Auror and composer Harry Potter is speaking out after years of his music being allegedly misattributed to Russian wizard Dmitri Shostakovich. “It’s not easy composing music while you’re defeating a Dark Lord, or raising kids,” said Potter. “Learning how to cast a Patronus while working on my first...

In a tragic story out of Winnipeg, MB, a pianist who has dedicated her life to performing with singers is questioning her future in the field after overhearing a mezzo refer to her in passing as an “accompanist”. “I’ve heard of this happening to my colleagues,” said pianist Ingrid...