Wow! This Violinist Rosined His Bow and Still Sounds Like Shit
After thoroughly applying rosin to his bow, a string player at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver is shocked by the result he received.
“My playing has sounded shitty for awhile now, so I figured rosin must be the missing piece of the puzzle,” said student violinist Dylan Harris. “I saw someone apply rosin to their bow at my last orchestra practice, and it took their tone from already pretty good to crystal clear. I was like, huh, I haven’t done that in awhile! So I tried it, but somehow my playing still sounds like shit. I don’t understand why that didn’t work for me.”
When asked about his practice routine, Harris replied that he doesn’t have one.
“I’ve been naturally talented since I was a little kid and I’m knowledgeable about music, so I don’t really need to practice,” Harris explained. “I’m sure my shitty playing has a quick fix that I just haven’t found yet, which apparently just isn’t rosin. Also, I don’t really want to practice.”
Harris’ colleagues at the UBC Symphony Orchestra were unsurprised by his experience.
“There’s no doubt about it, Dylan’s playing sounds like complete and utter shit,” said Harris’ stand partner, Chantal Simmons. “He is unbelievably lazy, and it totally shows. He can’t even move his bow in the right direction most of the time, and like, that’s a 50/50 chance.”
To his further disappointment, Harris discovered that not only did the rosin fail to improve his tone, but it actually made his poor intonation more obvious.
“It’s even made me consider practicing,” chuckled Harris. “But thankfully, I’m not quite that desperate yet.”