Harry Potter Tired of Having His Music Credited to Shostakovich
British Auror and composer Harry Potter is speaking out after years of his music being allegedly misattributed to Russian wizard Dmitri Shostakovich.
“It’s not easy composing music while you’re defeating a Dark Lord, or raising kids,” said Potter. “Learning how to cast a Patronus while working on my first violin concerto? Staying up all night with baby Albus Severus while finishing my piano quintet? That was damn hard work. And then this dude has the audacity to think he can swoop in and take credit for all my musical accomplishments, just because he looks like me.”
Potter’s sister-in-law and former Hogwarts classmate Hermione Granger is equally outraged.
“People know Harry for single-handedly saving thousands of lives and defending the world as we know it, which like, yeah that’s great, but I’ve also seen and heard Harry composing for as long as I’ve known him,” affirmed Granger. “It’s such a shame that Shostakovich’s uncanny likeness enabled him to use fake dates and piece nicknames to steal Harry’s stunning music. It has hoodwinked wizards and Muggles alike.”
Potter takes comfort in knowing that his family and friends know the truth.
“I dedicated my first orchestral work to my incredible father-in-law, Arthur Weasley,” added Potter with a smile. “I ended up nicknaming it the “Rubber Duck” symphony.”