Breaking: Soprano Dies After Double-Siding Music for Pianist

Edmonton soprano Alexis Taves, 26, was found dead in a University of Alberta copy room this morning after an attempt to double-side and hole-punch the sheet music she planned to give to her pianist later that day.

Taves, who returned in spectre form to comment, said she was taken by surprise. 

“I used to just bring the printed pages to rehearsals and masterclasses the way they came out of the photocopier, just as they were. My teachers and coaches would always tell me, ‘Alexis, take the time to prepare your music properly for your pianist – it’s not going to kill you!’ But then it did.”

Upon learning the news of her death, Taves wasn’t the only one thrown for a loop.

“I never dreamed that such standard music prep might be life-threatening for singers,” said Taves’ pianist, Kavya Patel. 

“I still want them to do it, though,” she added, for clarification.

No word yet on which opera houses Taves plans to haunt during her time as a ghost.