Study Finds Most Audition Results Are Influenced by Uncontrollable Factors – Unless They’re Yours
A recent study conducted by the prestigious Institute of Business Sciences has proven that nearly all audition results, at least in part, are influenced by factors beyond a musician’s control. However, an intriguing twist reveals the phenomenon auditionees had long suspected: when it comes to your own audition, the results are based solely on the merits of your performance, and by extension, your worth as a human being.
According to the IBS study, while playing or singing a strong audition certainly increases one’s chances for success, audition outcomes for musicians can be influenced by a wide variety of external factors. These range from subjective artistic opinions to a lack of vacancies for all qualified candidates. But remarkably, when it’s your audition, all of these variables suddenly cease to exist.
Dr. Noah Loser-When-I-See-One, lead researcher of the study, explains. “If your friend, colleague, or acquaintance auditions for something and doesn’t get the result they hoped for, it’s okay. The reason could lie in any of the intangible and unpredictable forces that govern the enigmatic world of auditions. That musician played their best on that day – that’s what counts, even if he forgot to in bar 22.”
“However, if it’s your own audition and you get rejected, then that’s purely your fault for being a shitty artist. Success was entirely within your grasp. If you’d performed and presented perfectly, as you can and should, that position would have been yours – but you didn’t, because you suck. That panel didn’t want you because you played terribly, or because your voice got all weird and high-pitched when you thanked them for their time, or because you forgot to dye your roots before the audition, or because you really shouldn’t have worn your ‘fun’ tie after all.”
These findings were unsurprising to most musicians on the audition scene.
“I’ve always known that every decision not to cast me was based entirely on what I have to offer as an artist, which is why I let all my rejections define me,” agreed soprano Maya Pologies. “At my last audition, I was under pitch on two entire notes in my final Caro Nome cadenza. They don’t need another reason not to hire me after that. And then there was the time I wore my purple jumpsuit. Everyone knows red is the power colour, how could I be so stupid? Amateur hour.”
When asked about a friend’s recent audition rejection, Maya’s response was also in keeping with the study’s conclusions. “Oh, Sara is so great! I’m sure she did really well, but you just never know what’s happening on the other side of the table. Maybe the panel thought she showed a lot of potential, but that she’ll get more out of the program after another year of growth. Or maybe they would’ve taken her this year if there were more positions available. Whatever it was, the result doesn’t reflect the quality of her work. After all, she’s not me!”
Interestingly, the study observed that the only exception to this rule was when your audition led to your success, an achievement that was then credited to “just getting lucky”.